I really appreciate personal insights like this. Hearing from many parents that childrearing prevents parents from reliably being able to access the kind of uninterrupted creative time I live for has helped me feel more solid in my decision not to have children. (This isn't me being snarky, either—it's really hard to feel confident about that decision when most of your friends are pregnant or plan to have kids!) I think it's also helpful because, as a childfree person, I'd love to help my parent friends access that creative time however I can: by babysitting so they can have a few hours to create, by connecting directly with their artistic side through conversation, etc. Everyone deserves to preserve that part of themselves, even if they can't work on their art on a regular basis.
I should have made clear that I am also lucky! I have a day job that lets me work from home and wear my baby and watch YouTube while designing brochures and promo graphics.
No snark detected! My wife and I both tell all our friends it isn’t for everyone. Hell, being in the trenches as I am I’m not even sure it’s for me except for the fact that I have kids so it has to be. I’m jealous, but I also wouldn’t wish anything else for you.
Almost every time I see her, my therapist thanks me for reminding her why she doesn’t want a second kid, haha.
As a parent, it has meant the world to me when someone offers to take the kids out of the blue to let me go fart around in the studio. You’re wonderful for wanting to do that for your friends!
I feel this. I think before parenthood I didn’t realize how essential art was to me. It felt superfluous. It is not. It is how I process the world, how I regulate, and how I connect. When I don’t make art things get very dark.
I only have one kid, but he’s 5.5 now and these last 6 months things are finally easier. He plays Zelda while I redesign my webpage. Or we draw together. And FINALLY we’re not sick all the time. The early years are brutal.
I’m so glad I found this post. Hang in there. I promise, it doesn’t last forever (though when our third son was a colicky baby and we didn’t sleep for 21 months, it felt like forever).
Maybe it’s because I came to my creative endeavors later (as a mother of four), I can’t imagine being this creative without children. My kids give me freedom to play, and someone for whom to create. We’re out of the trenches now (ages 17 down to 8), but I wrote and self-published my first book while very much in the trenches. Most of my poems were composed while nursing the baby and then tapped out on my phone in the middle of the night. And it was life-giving.
There’s a tension, of course. It hasn’t been without struggle. But learning to rest in God and asking Him to help me prioritize keeps me steady. And I’ve learned to create in the margins. 😊
I really appreciate personal insights like this. Hearing from many parents that childrearing prevents parents from reliably being able to access the kind of uninterrupted creative time I live for has helped me feel more solid in my decision not to have children. (This isn't me being snarky, either—it's really hard to feel confident about that decision when most of your friends are pregnant or plan to have kids!) I think it's also helpful because, as a childfree person, I'd love to help my parent friends access that creative time however I can: by babysitting so they can have a few hours to create, by connecting directly with their artistic side through conversation, etc. Everyone deserves to preserve that part of themselves, even if they can't work on their art on a regular basis.
I should have made clear that I am also lucky! I have a day job that lets me work from home and wear my baby and watch YouTube while designing brochures and promo graphics.
No snark detected! My wife and I both tell all our friends it isn’t for everyone. Hell, being in the trenches as I am I’m not even sure it’s for me except for the fact that I have kids so it has to be. I’m jealous, but I also wouldn’t wish anything else for you.
Almost every time I see her, my therapist thanks me for reminding her why she doesn’t want a second kid, haha.
As a parent, it has meant the world to me when someone offers to take the kids out of the blue to let me go fart around in the studio. You’re wonderful for wanting to do that for your friends!
I feel this. I think before parenthood I didn’t realize how essential art was to me. It felt superfluous. It is not. It is how I process the world, how I regulate, and how I connect. When I don’t make art things get very dark.
I only have one kid, but he’s 5.5 now and these last 6 months things are finally easier. He plays Zelda while I redesign my webpage. Or we draw together. And FINALLY we’re not sick all the time. The early years are brutal.
Thank you! I really relate to not realizing how important art and design were to me.
I keep reminding myself that this isn't forever.
I’m so glad I found this post. Hang in there. I promise, it doesn’t last forever (though when our third son was a colicky baby and we didn’t sleep for 21 months, it felt like forever).
Maybe it’s because I came to my creative endeavors later (as a mother of four), I can’t imagine being this creative without children. My kids give me freedom to play, and someone for whom to create. We’re out of the trenches now (ages 17 down to 8), but I wrote and self-published my first book while very much in the trenches. Most of my poems were composed while nursing the baby and then tapped out on my phone in the middle of the night. And it was life-giving.
There’s a tension, of course. It hasn’t been without struggle. But learning to rest in God and asking Him to help me prioritize keeps me steady. And I’ve learned to create in the margins. 😊
Thank you for this 🙂❤️